I’ve recently started a new hobby: furniture upcycling! This entails taking old furniture and making it new or repurposing it for a different use.
There is a lot of work in the process. When I first started, I would just go straight to painting. Unfortunately, it would chip, peel, or appear messy. I then researched and found I had to clean, sand, secure, prep, paint and finally, protect each piece with a topcoat.
As I was working on an old chair recently, I got a splinter in my hand. I used a pair of tweezers, put antibiotic cream on it, but it stayed in there. I figured it would come out eventually, but every time I moved my hand it was there; a nagging little pinch and it became painful!
I begin realizing this is very much like our mental health and healing! You can’t just jump the steps; it’s a process. It doesn’t just go away. Painful experiences just sit there until you dig in. You must start the journey, trust the process, and do the work for the result you desire.
Most of us have had situations and experiences in life that were unpleasant, possibly traumatic, and surely painful. The flight response is common: if I ignore it, it will go away. But that is not so.
In coaching, almost every client I have brings forward the “events” that formed them and why they behave or think as they do today. Working through these moments is like “sanding down” the emotional detachment to them. As we uncover things we didn’t realize had affected us subconsciously, we diminish the effects they have on our life.
YOU are the project. YOU are the one willing and able to take the steps to beautify the life you’ve been given.
Here are a few tips on how to start “your project”:
- Sit down and evaluate how you feel.
I mean, when you think of your childhood, are you angry? When you think of a friend or partner who betrayed you, do you feel unworthy? These are the things to start with. - Find a way to resolve the issue.
Thanks, Captain Obvious, but hear me out… If you’re angry, would writing a letter to the person about your feelings help? How about just in your journal, spill it all just for your own release? Can you sit with someone and have an honest conversation? - Prioritize.
For the instances that hurt or disappointed you, decipher the importance it has on your current life. Will holding on to this help me or hurt me? Will it prevent me from enjoying me life? Finding a relationship? Reuniting with family members? - Forgive for yourself.
The old cliche, yes, however, it helps to heal us when we forgive and decide to let go of what is not in our “circle of control.” Other people, situations, and the past are all out of your scope. You control your words, feelings, thoughts and actions.
You can do this, you just need to get started (the hardest part). Don’t let your Mental Health go to the landfill, choose to repurpose and renew your mindset.
Love and Blessings,
Life Coach Maureen