Have you ever listened to the way you speak about and to yourself? During the course of the day, pay close attention to
what you are thinking and speaking about yourself. I think you will be very surprised how negative we can be to ourselves.
“I have a terrible memory.”
“I’ve never been good at this.”
“I talk too much.”
“I have a short attention span.”
“If I didn’t have (insert label here), I wouldn’t have done that.”
Now let’s go a little further. Have you ever been to a professional who gave you a “label” (AKA diagnosis)? For example: ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar, etc.
They did you a huge disservice. From that moment on, you probably gave yourself an excuse for everything you do and say (i.e. I can’t focus, but it’s because of my ADD).
There’s something in Psychology called the “Labeling Theory.” How your identity and behavior is influenced by the terms you use to describe yourself. This is how we program ourselves negatively into thinking we cannot be better or change and live the way we want to be…. Happy!
There are actual phobias that can keep us from being happy; Nomatophobia (fear of names), Prosophobia (fear of progress), Catagelophobia (fear of being ridiculed), Autophobia (fear of being one’s self). But again, these are labels that hold us back (because if it has a scientific name, it must be true). But who hasn’t had discomfort or felt these things at one time or another? It doesn’t mean you are doomed and cannot change any behavior you CHOOSE to change…
Here are some ways to “reprogram” our thinking and speaking about ourselves (and others):
When you find yourself speaking negative, stop and change it to a positive. I do this all the time! For example, change “I have a terrible memory” to “I’m working on retaining information more effectively.”
2. When speaking of others, ask yourself: Is it kind? Is it Positive? Is it the way you’d like to be spoken of? Are you labeling? (i.e. she’s crazy, he’s a narcissist, etc.)
3. Do Daily Affirmations. Write a list of positive attributes about yourself: I am amazing, I am smart, I am funny, I speak really well, I’m a giving person… etc. Keep your list with you and read it several times a day. You will be programming both your conscious and subconscious self to believe good things about yourself and pretty soon a negative thought or word will seem foreign to you!
You deserve the best and to be your best you!
Love and blessings,