Life CoachingRelationships & Communication

If It Matters to You, It Should Matter to Me

During this quarantine, I have been so fortunate to be able to have my granddaughters staying with me. Although it can be tough trying to entertain a 6 and 8 year old, it’s been very fun.

Last night, we had a camping night with a bonfire, s’mores and a tent. The girls went into the house and brought out all of the important things they would need to sleep in the tent in backyard. As they showed us what they packed (3 or 4 backpacks full)  it was a curious thing to see what they deemed as “essentisl.” There were pajamas, bathing suits (for a midnight swim, they proclaimed), makeup, books (4 or more chapter books),  stuffed animals (4+), headbands, robe and slippers, and a multitude of toys. 

Now the adults may not think these things were vital being they were only 10 feet away from the house, but it made me realize that what’s important to others may not seem important to us, and I might add,it may seem strange, over the top, or “crazy”. 

In addition, I recall cleaning out my grandmother’s apartment when she had Alzheimer’s disease and had to move to my parents house for supervision and care. My mother would ask, “what did she keep that for” or “why does she have this?” I remember thinking, one day when I pass, will my sentimental things be tossed or donated? How will anyone know what it meant to me? I would then justify, well my family knows me so they will keep what mattered to me. 

In the same way, there are actions and words that we each find necessary for our happiness and well-being. The problem is that others aren’t concerned with your needs, they are focused on their own. If you take the time to really listen and observe people in your life – friends, loved ones, children – they will show you by word or action what matters most to them. 

Will you give what others are needing for validation and acceptance or will you view through your own emotional viewer and give what YOU think is important?

Here’s a great example: Your father mentions that he hasn’t seen you in awhile. You personally like to have space and feel like you wouldn’t want to intrude or take up someone’s time. If you break down what your father said, it’s this, “I miss you, I feel unimportant, I’d like you to spend time with me so I feel valued.” 

Let’s really work to focus on others and take the time to figure out how to be kind, giving, and understanding of the needs of souls around us whom may not express it outright.  

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person- Fred Rogers 

We’re all in this together and it’s a great time to evaluate how to be better than we were yesterday! 

Love and Blessings, 
Maureen

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